Weekly HorrorScopes May 16-22
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). You should try to de-stress by taking a leisurely walk, meditating, or practicing some light yoga. If you don’t, your heart will explode inside of your chest and they will find your rotting corpse permanently adhered to the computer where your face burned into the LCD monitor.
Today’s Birthday (May 16): You share a birthday with Janet Jackson! You also coincidentally have similar family backgrounds, including a brother that enjoys wearing sequins and molesting children and possibly monkeys. And monkey children wearing sequins.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will launch into another Get Rich Quick scheme which will leave you with about 3,000 custom-designed watermelon stress balls. I know, I know, it sounded like a good idea at the time…
Gemini (May 21-June 21). If you keep walking around barefoot at your gym, you’re going to spawn a new form of foot fungus that burns painfully but tastes delicious on pizza.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). You will get replaced by a 20-year old that gets paid half your salary but gets work done three times as efficiently at your job. Don’t worry, you can always get a job as one of those senior-citizen Walmart greeters!
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Hey, is that actually your real hair?
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You really need to focus on setting some goals in your life. Start by eating some healthy food with a proper knife, fork, and plate rather than those sporks they give you at KFC when they hand you your plastic bowl filled with cheese, mashed potatoes, and chicken neck mixture.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). It should be a fairly busy week for you with lots of phone calls, conversations and contacts with many different people dominating your agenda. You know, the bill collectors wouldn’t bother you so much if you just paid off that gym equipment you bought and never used.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Just throw out that pair of jeans – you were never able to fit your fat ass into them quite right anyhow.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your selfishness will be at an all-time high this week when you steal quarters from your friends’ couch cushions to buy yourself a dozen donuts that you will eat alone in your apartment like some ravenous hyena.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). In fact, the average American uses between 300 and 700 plastic bags per year. You can help the environment by picking out one favorite plastic bag, putting it over your head, and breathing deeply.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Some people can bounce a quarter off their stomach. Amazingly enough, quarters can actually orbit around the small planet you used to call your midsection.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). You need to work on your self-esteem or you will be doomed to dating the leechy, sociopathic, moronic losers that you seem to always draw into your life. These days it’s like flies to shit, so you need to either get some bug spray or watch your fiber intake.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: If you keep your feet firmly on the ground at all times, you’ll probably ave trouble putting on your pants.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScopes April 25-May 1st
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Today’s Birthday (April 24). Happy Birthday to you and Barbra Streisand! I see that neither of you have received nose jobs for your birthday. That’s too bad.
Aries (March 21-April 19). Your judgment will be clouded by a mysterious source. It’s the from a poison gas cloud in your basement. Tell your roommate to quit mixing chemicals down there.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will hurt yourself doing something really stupid, so you should fabricate an interesting story now so you don’t look like a moron when you come in to work next week with a neck brace. Perhaps you can say you were attacked by a bear while trying to save a group of Cub Scouts from a forest fire that was started by a freak marshmallow roasting accident? Or maybe you hurt yourself trying to push a blind old lady with a heart of gold out of the way of an oncoming locomotive that was engulfed in flames from the radioactive toasted forest fire marshmallows? Or better yet, you hurt yourself when you tried to steal the last bag of marshmallows out of a blind old lady’s shopping cart and a bunch of Cub Scouts saw the whole thing and beat you up in the parking lot? Oh, wait, that’s actually what’s going to happen. Man. You’re a tool.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). You might have a major falling out with one of your friends over a difference of opinion. If you take it “Step by Step” and keep “Hangin’ Tough”, you should be able to say “Please Don’t Go, Girl,” and she’ll say, “Let’s Try It Again”. In the end, there is no way to prove whether Jordan is actually cuter than Donnie anyhow since they both have “The Right Stuff”.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). This week you will have a moment of clarity. Your job sucks, you significant other hates you, everyone is using you, and there is nothing you can do about it. At least you’ll never be accused of being “over optimistic”.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Some people in your life might not be impressed with your ideas right now. It’s because your ideas are typically stupid, but no one is brave enough to tell you because you also have some pretty severe anger management issues.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You will receive some money very soon. You should donate some funds to a local charity before you blow it on something stupid like a Beer Pong Table or that stripper that pretends to care about your feelings.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). No, you’re not supposed to feel that way, ever. That’s totally not normal. Seek help.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You should really take better care of your health. Cheetos might be orange, but that doesn’t mean that they actually contain any traces of Vitamin C.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your socks are on backwards. What, you didn’t know socks had to go on a certain “way”? Man, your mamma didn’t raise you right!
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You will feel like running away from the world and joining the circus. Unfortunately the circus if full of enough freaks, they really need some stable people to run the show, and the only thing you can run is your hideously deformed mouth.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Your house was built on an Indian burial ground, why you occasionally smell the delicious aromas of curried chicken and mango chutney through your halls. Oh, you thought I meant American Indian? No way, you’d probably be carved into some kind of ceremonial mask or gourd or something by now! You’re pretty safe as long as you try to keep steak and burgers out of your house. I mean, you don’t eat steak, do you? Oh, man, you’re in trouble….
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). A male Capricorn will lie to you and try to scam you out of a ton of money. It’s okay to smack him in the head with a rock, he deserves it. Also, don’t forget to floss.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: Marriage is like a game of poker – you start with a pair and end up with a full house. This also requires a lot of bluffing.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScopes April 11-April 17
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). My crystal ball says that you drink far too much soda. I can’t read any more because of all the bubbles. Oh, wait, I see it…you also burp and fart too much. I don’t need my crystal ball to see that this is all related.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). Someone in your immediately family will fall off of a cliff and leave you a large inheritance. Unfortunately, rather than large monetary gains, you will receive a large pitbull that likes to nuzzle next to a pile of bones that he collected from the “Missing” neighborhood children.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). One of your children will go missing. You might want to ask the Taurus that lives next door to you about it.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). FYI, your nickname at work is “The Old Man”. No one wants to hear your long, rambling, non-nonsensical stories. Also, no one wants to hear about your experiences with buying Viagra and “pumps” through e-mail direct-marketing campaigns. I can’t believe you gave those people your credit card number…
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). You will finally finish off the last of the candy in your Easter Basket, and you will continue to feel resentful that you did not receive any orange Cadbury Creme Eggs this year. Also, the mall Easter Bunny asked us to tell you to please stop calling him; his name is actually Joe and you’re really freaking out his wife. How the hell did you get his number, anyhow?
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). There has been a large crime-spree in your neighborhood. You might want to finally change those locks, or at least booby trap your house with buckets of paint. That’s what Macaulay Culkin did to avoid perpetrators and molesters, and we all know how his life turned out.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Stop trying to be such a people-pleaser. I know you’re trying to make everyone happy, but you’re just coming across as a high-strung ass-kisser. Also, try to cut down on all the blow you’re doing. It’s just no good.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You will try a new fad diet in the coming weeks. In the end, the only weight you’ll lose will be in your wallet.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). You will make the world a better place when you tragically die at a young age.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You might want to try something new this week, like showering and maybe even brushing your teeth. And while you’re off the couch, perhaps you might want to look into purchasing some dignity and self respect?
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You might say you have a clear conscience, but really, you just have a bad memory.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). If April Showers bring May Flowers, the April Shit-Storms you are going to get stuck in will bring you rolls and rolls of May Flowery-Printed Toilet Paper. Unfortunately, the flusher will be broken until at least June. You might as well pick up a few magazines to read because it’s not ending soon.
Today’s Birthday (April 11). Your birthday cake will light your eyebrows on fire, but you won’t notice until the flames have consumed much of the hair on your head. Eh, your hairline was starting to recede, anyhow.Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: A woman that is laid in a tomb might someday become a mummy.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScopes April 4-April 10
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). A very attractive person will hit on you this week, but beware, they have more miles on them than your dad’s old car.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will spend your entire weekend ripping up grass from your flower bed, only to replace it with different grass that is supposedly “ornamental”. Some people call that gardening. but really, that’s just insane.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). You will notice a strange lump on your side. That’s your significant other.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Your energy level will be high this week, but try to avoid starting projects that you can’t finish, since you will go back to being your same, lazy self in a few days.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Your attention will be in million places this week. except for the road. The police, however, will have seen the whole thing.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You will be challenged with intense and complex issues, mainly concerning the debate over whether to buy chunky or smooth peanut butter. You know, if you had a better job, you could afford to buy both.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Avoid being pulled into an intense disagreement that is fueled by fear of the unknown. In other worlds, avoid speaking to Republicans in general.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You will soon have the opportunity to be earning a little more money, however, prostitution is still illegal in most states, especially if you are prostituting your own family members against their will.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth this week. They actually have huge teeth that could chew your entire face off.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Your dreams will have a great significance this week, since you will one and for all realize that you can never achieve them.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Make sure you pamper yourself this week, since you’re going to have a slight accident in public. And if Pampers are too small for your fat butt, I’m sure Depends works as well.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). The combination of certain planetary forces may affect us in mysterious ways. In your case, they give you bad gas.
Today’s Birthday (April 4) On this day in history, Martin Luther King, Jr. died. He had a dream that changed lives, whereas, you have dreams that stain your pajama pants.Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: She who finds happiness found a man who has no spine.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScopes February 29 – March 6
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). For some reason, everything around you will kind of smell like chicken soup. Don’t worry, it’s not actually chicken soup…it’s just a new brain tumor.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will entertain all of your co-workers with an impersonation of your boss. They’ll be even more entertained by the expression on your employer’s face as he walks up behind you without your knowledge.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). Even though the human body is about 61.8 percent water, you have somehow managed to be comprised of about 78% fat-free butter substitute. I always wondered what that stuff was made of—apparently it’s YOU.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Every time you jack off to a YouTube video, a baby kitten dies. This also happens when you leave nasty, irrelevant comments with spelling and grammatical errors… except that the baby kitten gets smashed alive, ground into a fine powder, and mixed in with your dinner.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Every office copier has been misappropriated at least 47 times in its lifespan. Despite the temptation, don’t let your butt become another statistic.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You secretly enjoy the smell of your own farts. And the farts of others. Your just a fart-o-phile.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). A Gemini will rub you the wrong way this week. Next time, use lube, or at least hypoallergenic lotion.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Sept. 21). You will look like a complete jerk when you run into someone who knows you, and no idea who they are. Rather than pretending to know who they are, just tell them that you didn’t recognize them with their clothes on.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). If you need to whine and complain, talk to your plants. They are the only living thing that can actually benefit from all the hot air coming out of your mouth.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). In all your past lives, you were just as dull, stupid, and insignificant as you are today, but you were much less ugly.
Today’s Birthday (February 29th): You might already know that your birthday is on a Leap year, but did you know that it’s also a bissextile day? Really, look it up. See, so now you have an excuse for what you did at that party….it’s like you get a “Get Out of Jail Free” card every four years!
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Yes, you do have weird looking toes.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): You have a really mean and ruthless boss that constantly verbally abuses you. Too bad you work for yourself. They make pills for that, you know.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScopes February 22 – February 28
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). An over-ambitious impulse will leave you tired, sore, and broke. Rather than trying to save the entire world at once, perhaps you should start small…like rinsing out your freaking yogurt cups before you recycle them. The people down at the Plastics Remanufacturing Plant think you’re gross.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). Everyone you know will let you down because they just don’t care about anything that isn’t fed to them by the local cable networks. The sooner you realize that the world is full of a bunch of lazy slackers that only look to use you, the sooner you will escape…by hanging yourself.
Gemini (May 21-June 21). The reason the guy at the checkout line gives you the stink eye isn’t because he’s racist or jealous of your “cool hair”. For almost two years, you’ve been on the Local Convience Store Union’s blacklist for abusing the “Leave a Penny, Take a Penny” tray. Also, your hair is not cool. It’s a little gay, actually.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Your energy could be a little low today, but instead of guzzling caffeine, perhaps you could use some healthy exercise. Hey, maybe you should piss off the local biker gang by calling them a bunch of goat-humpers…that will at least get you a jog.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). You could use some more fiber in your diet. And perhaps a breath mint.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Whatever you decide to spawn will grow up to use you, resent you, and eventually destroy you. Better to throw yourself down a flight of stairs or stand infront of the microwave to save yourself a life time full of trouble.
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Rather than buying peoples’ kids five cheap things from the Dollar Store, just buy them a freaking $5 giftcard to Toys-R-Us or something. Sure, you’ll still look like a cheap bastard, but at least the kids won’t get lead poisoning and/or choke to death on the cheaply-fabricated toys that were made by other five-year olds.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You will tear apart your entire house looking for your keys or cell phone only to find them deposited securely in your coat pocket – the place you first checked. You’re not crazy…it’s the gnomes that live in your house messing with you again.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). When you are dropping all your bombs in your workplace toilet, you should really conduct an occasional courtesey flush to spare the guests in the adjacent stall. Not everyone else in the world should have to smell yesterday’s bacon grease breakfast mixed with a Mexican lunch, and the lard-stuffed-microwave-meat-pies you call “dinner”.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). In your lifetime, at least three people have woken up next to you and regretted the night before. At least you still got laid, if you can even call it that.
Today’s Birthday (February 22nd): On this day, Samuel Byck tries and fails to assassinate U.S. President Richard Nixon…exactly like your parents tried to assassinate you nine months earlier. Are you aware that you have an immunity to RU-486.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The only reason you’ve made it this far in the world is because of sheer luck, not talent. Better to play lotto in your case than ever try to do something that requires brains and actual abilities.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): A freak accident with a medical waste truck will leave you with the nickname “Sperm Dumpster”.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: Build a man a fire, and he’ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScope January 11 – January 17
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). Always remember to always think before you act . If you’ve seen any film with Hayden Christensen, you would see an example of an Aries that NEVER thinks before he acts.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). Don’t waste your money on that nose job, it will just call more attention to your beak. People will just say, “Hey, So-and-So got a nose job!” rather than “Wow, doesn’t So-and-So have a fine looking shnozz? I think it’s time to give them a raise.”
Gemini (May 21-June 21). Unless you have already seen Cloverfield, we suggest you get the heck off the internet and go see it before some vindictive a-holes post spoilers everywhere. You know, we didn’t even have to be psychic about the end of Harry Potter – some jerk wrote it on the freaking bathroom stall door. Don’t worry, shortly thereafter, he got hit by a bus (the guy that wrote on the bathroom door, not Harry Potter. Harry Potter gets eaten alive by a mongoose.)
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Your complete lack of ethics would make you a great business person and an extraordinarily corrupt politician. I mean, look at what it did to your fellow Cancer buddy, George W. Bush?
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). You’ve always been a little bit psychic, which is why you are convinced that the CIA is tapping your phone calls. Really, your life is not that interesting, so that “funny feeling of being watched” is just your ISP logging your illegal downloads.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You’ve always held the attitude that if you want something done right, do it yourself. But since your toilet is still is leaking into your neighbor’s living room and the computer you repaired still smells like burning plastic, why don’t you scrap that idea and call a professional?
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). You are always very sympathetic to other peoples’ problems and you care about the fate of the world a great deal. This makes you a complete sucker 80% more susceptible to online scammers.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Sept. 21). Beware of papercuts from manila folders. They bleed FOREVER!
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your lack of disciple will hurt you when you miss a deadline because of your drinking binge the night before. Your boss won’t get as mad at you if you actually change out of your smoke-filled, beer/mystery stained party outfit this time.
Today’s Birthday (January 18): Happy Birthday & Happy Winnie the Pooh Day. Feel free to binge on cake and cookies to celebrate these momentous occasions, but don’t be surprised if your ass gets stuck in a window or when your snout gets lodged in a jar full of “Hunny”.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Quit blaming your life’s problems on your crappy childhood; your problems are caused by the simple fact that you’re a complete moron.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). You are extremely practical, which also makes you really boring. At times, people avoid you so they can escape your endless, pointless, dry conversations. Come on Aquarius – no one really wants to see those pictures from your damn kid’s birthday party.
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Pisces women might think they know what’s best for people, but their know-it-all attitude comes off as more bitchy than helpful. You only have the right to criticize people that came screaming out your nether regions, so that includes your children, your husband, and that one-night stand that you probably don’t remember. Pisces men should go get that lump examined.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This makes you very attractive to the deaf, dumb & blind.
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Weekly HorrorScope Nov 2nd – November 9th
By Wiccan Chicken & Pagan Penguin
Aries (March 21-April 19). Ever heard of the “Butterfly Effect”? Please watch what you eat – your farts have been causing forest fires in California and hurricanes in the southern States.
Taurus (April 20-May 20). You will feel anxious about financial matters this week. Perhaps you should have paid your rent on time instead of buying a crapload of junk at K-mart last night. What good is a 75% off ceramic pumpkin if you’re in a homeless shelter? Actually, what good is a ceramic pumpkin in the first place?
Gemini (May 21-June 21). Keep this world a beautiful place; use a condom.
Cancer (June 22-July 22). Don’t even THINK about putting up any Christmas decorations before Black Friday. Sure, some folks might want to celebrate the birth of Jesus, didn’t Turkey Lurkey DIE for your dinner? Have some respect.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). We guarantee that you will not get your house devoured by a ravenous horde of alien termites with giant wood chippers.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The fish you flushed down the toilet when you were five wasn’t actually dead – he was just sleeping. He lives in the magical lake of goldfish where there are rainbows and unicorns and wonderful, wonderful things. There, now you can stop crying yourself to sleep every night.
Today’s birthday (Nov 1): Very ironic that you should be BORN on the Day of the DEAD. No wonder so many ghosts and goblins mess with you! What, you thought all the weird crap that happened to you was just a coincidence? That Catrina is a catty girl!
Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Those “Health” bars that you’ve been devouring are actually “Heath” bars. So not only are you fat, you’re also illiterate.
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). Don’t let other people bully you into doing anything you aren’t comfortable with. You are a strong, unique, talented individual. Now bitch, go make me a sandwich.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Your boss is reevaluating the company dress code because of you. The socks with sandals need to stop.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You will never find true love. But can always find true stupidity by looking in the mirror.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). No Trick-or-Treaters last week, huh? Maybe next year you shouldn’t hang up a sign that says, “Ring bell for candy, guaranteed 100% Poison & Hypodermic Needle-Free!”
Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). You will lose something very important, but you won’t remember that you’ve even lost it until you desperately need it. It may be your birth certificate, it may be your car keys, but most likely, it will be your mind.
Buddhist Monkey Proverb of the Day: Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ. Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like your mom?!
Wiccan Chicken and Pagan Penguin are fictional cartoon characters who think you are looking for any excuse to sue someone. Therefore, their horoscopes/astrological forecasts/random rants should be read for entertainment only.
Hello, my fellow vegans! Want something a little spicy for dinner tonight? Try some of these burritos – they just make my BEAK water!
Spicy Sweet Potato-Bean Burrito
Ingredients (use vegan versions):
1 teaspoon olive, canola oil
1 large onion,finely chopped
3 or 4 cloves garlic, minced
6 cups cooked beans (kidney or garbanzo)
2 cups water or bean-cooking liquid
2 to 3 tablespoon chili powder
2 to 4 teaspoon prepared yellow mustard
2 teaspoon ground cumin
2 to 3 tablespoon soy sauce
8 10 soft whole-wheat tortillas
4 cups mashed cooked sweet potatoes
3 green onions, finely chopped
thinly sliced avocado
salsa to garnish
Directions:
1. Heat oil in a 4-quart saucepan over medium heat. Saute onion in oil until transparent. Add garlic and stir. Add beans, water, chili powder, mustard cumin.
2. Bring mixture to a boil over medium-high heat. Cover. Reduce heat to low. Simmer until beans are very very soft, about 10 to 15 minutes. Stir in soy sauce.
3. Mash beans in the pot with a potato masher or large slotted spoon. Simmer, uncovered, over medium-low heat to cook away any excess liquid, about 25 minutes. Taste and add more seasoning if desired.
4. Preheat oven to 375. spread about 2/3 cups bean mixture down the middle of a tortilla and top with 1/2 cup mashed sweet potato. Sprinkle with 1/8 green onions. Roll up burrito, folding edges in from two sides to cover filling.
5. Repeat with remaining tortillas, bean mixture, sweet potato and onions. Place burritos seam side down on a baking sheet that has been sprayed with vegetable cooking spray. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until burritos are crisp.
6. Sprinkle burritos with avocado, salsa as desired.
Serves: 8
Preparation time: 45 minutes
Recipe courtsey of Wiccan Chicken & VegWeb.com
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